Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
A Message of Cheer: Hope is Faith
Hope sees sunshine through the clouds and rainbows in the rain
Hope gives us strength to travel on when the struggle seems in vain
Hope looks ahead to better things when a dream we had is gone
Hope is faith that on the darkest night there will be a brighter dawn
-Mary Alice Michaels
I received this message in a card. I thought it fit in perfectly with my blog and was just I needed this week!! I hope it inspires you as much as it has done for me. God Bless!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Wondering Why??
So I have been feeling really good for the majority of this year, but all of a sudden things are beginning to change. Why? I don't understand. Why are my symptoms coming back? Why has it taken so long to get my new treatment in place? Why has no one called me to set up an appointment to start my treatment? Why does everything have to be so difficult? Why do I worry so much? Why do I have a disease that gets worse when I worry so much? It does not make sense.
The sermon on Sunday was about not having fear. The scripture read referenced the story of Jesus sleeping on a boat, while the disciples feared for their lives in the raging storm. Jesus asked them after being woken up, "Why are you afraid?" Then with his mighty powers he calmed the sea. Matthew 8:27.
This put things into perspective for me because last week I had been worrying a lot about my future. You know, all the stuff that I can't control, but like to make myself sick thinking about it anyway. So I had decided to give it all to the Lord and let him take care of it. I was kind of hoping he would take away the storm, not let one brew. I know sometimes life just sucks and things just happen. God doesn't necessarily cause bad things to happen, but he may allow them to happen. I guess its some sort of character building test thing he likes me to gain from his allowances. But really God? Is this suppose to teach me to not have what I want? To not enjoy eating the foods I enjoy? Stop teasing me. I hate being "normal" one minute and then the next I have to put myself in a glass box and watch people have a "normal" life.
I know it probably sounds like I'm complaining. I may be a little bit. It is just depressing and discouraging when I have been feeling well and all of a sudden I am sick again...or on my way to being sick again. I am weary, and God I need you to carry my burden again. Wrap me in your arms and make me better again. Heal me please I cry out to you! I need your comfort and your strength. I can't do this alone. Please, Father let your will be done. Yours is the kingdom, power, and glory forever! Amen.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Looking for some Sunshine
Do you ever just feel like saying "Screw it all!"? Do you ever get tired of learning lessons about being patient? Do you just get sick of trying to be positive about everything?? Well in case you couldn't tell, that's how I'm feeling right now. I swear I am about to break. I'm at my bursting point. For your sake, I'm trying to hold it together. I don't like being out of control or feeling like I'm about to lose control. Sometimes though, I just get sick of it all. I'm sick of all the life lessons, of all the waiting, of the being nice to people. I know this sounds really crappy of me, especially when this blog is about being positive and trying to maintain a good attitude through the crap. Today, I'm just finding it difficult to see the sun. It sucks too, because it is a beautiful day outside. I got to see my amazing boyfriend and hang out with my best friend. The crappy things that have happened today haven't even been that bad. Trust me I've been through a lot of awful times and today can't even compare. I don't know. I'm just out of sorts I guess. You ever feel that way? I'm so ready for this break. I need to see my family. I miss them so much. Well good, I'm finally crying now. Maybe that will make me feel better. If you have any encouraging words, please feel free to leave them in the comment box below. I'm out.
Encouraging Words:
"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you." Isaiah 43:2
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