God's Will?

After trying 3 different types of treatments and trying to wean off steroids only to still suffer in pain, one begins to wonder when will the healing begin? It can be so discouraging and frustrating when you hope this next treatment or this next pill will be the one to relieve you of the pain, but instead you find yourself still suffering. Looking at those around you enjoy the simple things in life like a nice steak, running a 5K without wearing a diaper, or having the energy to make dinner, you can begin to feel angry with your situation.

Once again you find yourself trying to stay positive, telling yourself "choose your attitude," "It can always be worse; you could be in a wheel chair or homeless," and "be faithful, the Lord will provide." It is just tiring when time and time again your faithfulness seems to be unrewarded. You just want to normal, to be healed! You cry out to the Lord, please remove this pain, please heal me!!!

Then it hits you like a pie in the face! Maybe it is not God's will for you to be healed! What??!!! While here on this Earth, it is your task to suffer so that you can help those who suffer. Healing comes when you finally go HOME! Home, where you belong with your Father in Heaven!!

OH HOW I LONG FOR THE DAY WHEN I CAN BE HOME.

Until that day, I will suffer if that is the Lord's will. I will bear this cross he has asked me to carry. I know he will never give me more than I can handle, and I know he will always get me through the lonely, painful night. How do I know? He has proven himself over and over to me. Though I suffer in pain, he is always there giving me the "strength to faithen me." Though I suffer, it has been through my suffering that I have been blessed! Blessed with a stronger and closer relationship with God. Blessed with the message of hope and faith to pass along to those in similar situations. Blessed to meet wonderful people and be able to tell them that it will be ok!

It may not be God's will for me to be healed, but I know I will continue to follow him. I will hold fast to his promises and look forward to my day of ultimate healing! I am so excited for that day!

One of my favorite passages which I cling to:

The God of All Comfort

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.⁵For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. ⁶If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

⁸We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. ⁹Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. ¹⁰He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, ¹¹as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]} behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

2 Corinthians 1: 3-11